What the Hades was that? Part I
Posted on Sat Jul 26th, 2025 @ 7:25pm by Lieutenant Xavier & Lieutenant Endymion Tox
1,223 words; about a 6 minute read
Mission:
Preservation Instinct
Location: Shuttle Bay | USS Ontario
Timeline: Just Before Away Mission
ON:
Xavier was the first of the away team to arrive in the shuttle bay, or so he thought. As he drew closer to the shuttle that would carry them on their mission he heard that someone was inside. There was a rustling within the shuttle as if someone was moving things. He shrugged. It was probably someone from Engineering or Ops as the team was set to arrive an hour from now. He was early because he wanted to look the shuttle over. Every shuttle, every ship, in his mind, had a soul.
As he entered he froze looking at the form hunched over the open cupboard. It was the irritating Human nurse. He figured the nurse was Human or Betazoid, he hadn't bothered to look through the personnel records and there was nothing indicating that the man in front of him was anything but Human.
"Nurse Tox, what are you doing?"
Tox, who'd been updating the medical supplies of the shuttle muttered. "Fixing the laxness of the previous staff. I really have to talk to the Grump about this. Most of these were expired and three tricorders didn't work!" It was shocking how badly the medical kit on this shuttle was kept. Thankfully he'd come a few hours early and had been able to update and fix all that was wrong with the med kit. He'd even found extra storage to bring more kits.
"That is unfortunate. It could have been an issue. I must admit that I am...somewhat surprised at your diligence."
Tox sighed and stood up brushing his uniform down. "I'm tired of people making assumptions about be. Just because I smile easy, laugh and love hard doesn't mean I'm not serious and can't do my job. What is with everyone!"
Xavier took a step back, his eyebrows both raising. "I...apologize. I did not mean offense."
Tox looked at him eyes narrowed. "Sorry, it's been a day." He turned away and bent down again finishing the last of the kits. He close the compartment panel and then stood up. "There. Done." He walked over to one of the chairs and sat down. "I'm guessing people will be here soon."
"Indeed." Xavier said. "I will need to check the shuttle over before everyone boards."
Tox sighed. "Fine. I'll leave."
Xavier watched as Tox moved towards the door. He sighed and reached out grabbing Tox's arm right above the elbow. "Lieutenant. Your head is not in this mission. Perhaps another medical officer? You seem distracted and that could be a danger to the rest of the away team."
Tox's eyes widened. "Trust me Lieutenant Xavier. I'm fine. Worry about yourself." He pulled away and headed out. He needed a walk to cool off. The Vulcan with the haunting eyes was right. His head was not in the game and he knew what he needed to do to get it in the game. He needed to do the one thing he'd been avoiding. He needed to respond to PLUTO.
Xavier sighed. Why was it that he seemed to provoke Tox whenever they were in a room together. As of late they had been in plenty of rooms together, as if the hands of Fate had pushed them into the same space and all those times they'd gone from civil to downright hostile in a few moments.
He shook his head as he turned his attention to the shuttle and running through preflight checks. He checked the inside, the outside, the panels and all seemed well. During that time he was almost able to forget the fact that he hadn't heard from KERBEROS since that log had accidently gotten sent to him. It wasn't unexpected. People found out his true feelings, his true self, they left and if they didn't leave they ended up hurt so he had to make sure that he formed no lasting connections on this ship.
It wasn't easy, there were so many interesting people here; from Percy and his forget-me-not flowers, to the XO who was warm, kind, almost fatherly in nature, to the Counselor who after one lunch had gotten to know more about him then anyone. Then there was Zero, an old friend and the cute and interesting Ferengi he'd met just a day ago who shared his interest, the kind doctor who'd treated him well and talked with him about Holmes. Even the other counselor who seemed to want to rip apart his secrets. It was...a lot. He would have to double his efforts to keep away from these people. Especially the CO, she had a motherly vibe about her but...the last person who'd had a motherly vibe about her had almost shattered him, her loss had taken a lot to get over.
He stood. No. He would not allow this. He would not get close to anyone here. He had work to do so that was that. Still he couldn't help but wonder about KERBEROS. Sighing he gave into the urge to check his messages from the SLEP program. There was just over an hour left and he doubted that his friend would have answered now of all times.
He logged into his personal messages and opened the in box and his heart stopped.
It was as if all sound around him died but not the pounding of his heart. There, waiting for him, was a message from KERBEROS flashing in his inbox.
Xavier blinked several times and he could swear that he felt his forehead bead with sweat. Vulcans didn't sweat...Romulans did, yet another way that his Romulan blood showed its dominance. Heart hammering, threatening to leap out of his chest, he licked his dry lips and then with a shaking finger, never acceptable on a pilot, he pressed the open button. He knew he should wait until he got back but now that he knew it was there he needed to read it.
My Dearest PLUTO,
I have to apologize to you for not getting back to you sooner. I've listened to your message...probably hundreds of times and I couldn't respond because I didn't know what to say.
Xavier who'd been standing with his fists clenched at his side after opening the message collapsed into the pilot's chair. His legs had gone to jelly. His mind raced ahead. This was where KERBEROS told him that he didn't feel the same, that Xavier was horrible and disgusting for and delusional, that dedicating your personal logs to a person who you have never met but secretly harbor feelings for wrong and he'd laugh. He'd laugh and tell Xavier to never contact him again.
Heart pounding he continued to read.
It's been weighing on me because for the first time in my life I was at a loss for words. It was like I had a lot to say but didn't know how to say it. My mind wouldn't form connections. So I listened, I cried, I listened again.
I'm guessing from the tone that I was never suppose to hear that, it seemed like a personal log and I....I'm glad I heard it.
THUMP,
THUMP.
To Be Continued...
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Lieutenant Xavier
Chief Flight Control Officer
USS Ontario
&
Lieutenant Endymion Tox (NPC)
Head Nurse
USS Ontario
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